Today I'm going to talk specifically to parents, guardians and other caregivers about the friendships their children may form. I was writing about a young girl who got led astray by a so-called 'friend.' This 'friend' took her to a place where she was being held by a man who I found out was the wrongdoer's brother. After the man was warned by the host of a local crime-fighting show that he would 'com for him' if he did not bring the girl home in an hour, the girl was returned to her home.
As I was thinking about this girl's situation, an biblical event came to my mind. It is recorded in 2 Samuel 13; you can read the whole event for yourself. To recap what I wrote yesterday, another son of king David named Amnon supposedly 'fell in love' with his half-sister, Tamar. Incidentally, Tamar was the full sister of Absalom, the son whom God killed because he rebelled against his father. In verse 3, we see that Amnon had a 'friend', a cousin named Jonadab, whom the Bible described as a 'crafty' man. Jonadab told Amnon to pretend that he was sick in bed. When his father came to see him, Amnon should ask king David to allow Tamar to bring food and feed him with it. The plan worked. When the beautiful young virgin went into his room to feed him, he forcibly raped her. The Bible actually says that after Amnon raped Tamar, his hatred for her was even more than his 'love' for her, and he told his servants to put her outside and shut the door. Worse of all in this whole scenario, king David was displeased, BUT HE DID ABSOLUTELY ABOUT IT!
Parents, guardians and all those rearing children below 21 years of age, I'm sounding a warning to you. Many of you want to be 'friends' with your children, wanting them to like you and to think that you are 'cool!' Guess what? At those ages (0 to 21years), your child or children want parents, not friends. Their friends are those of their own age. You need to be firm with them, laying down rules that are age-appropriate and making sure that those rules are followed. Let there be consequences if rules are not followed.
Make sure that you know who your child's friends are. The young girl's mother knew the girl well enough to know that she was an undesirable person., and even warned her to stay away from the young offender. Make your children introduce them to you. Give them opportunities to come home. And if they have friends that you do not like, let them know that you do not want them to lime (hang out) with them, Let there be consequences if you are not obeyed.
Jonadab was David's nephew. I'm sure David had seen Jonadab's ways as he grew up, and probably knew what kind of person he was. He should have kept his son from being too close to his first cousin. But he often was not at home, as is the case with a lot of parents.
Parents, you also need to talk straight with your children. Tell them about life, and about what happened to you and to others when they disobeyed their parents and those in authority. Both the young offender and Jonadab persuaded their friends to deceive their parents and to do wrong. For the young girl, she was held by the young miscreant's brother, who said that he wanted to marry her. Up to the time of this writing, I do not know if he touched her in any way. In Amnon's case, Tamar was raped, even though she begged him to ask their father for her hand in marriage. He just went ahead and took what he wanted, not considering the possible consequences. The young offender and her brother also took the young woman without her mother's permission, not considering the consequences.
When a child wants to go out with friends, let the friends come and ask permission for them to go. Some people think that this is old-fashioned, but in these days, I believe that this is a safe thing to do. Make sure that there is an age-appropriate time to come in, and make sure that there are age-appropriate consequences that will make a teen think twice about doing it again (please, I'm not sanctioning abuse of any kind here!)
Talk to your child about the facts of life, how to move in certain situations. Be real and open with your children. Tell them about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, premarital sex and smoking.Tell them what to do if they are caught in certain situations. Give them numbers that they can call if they are in trouble. The young girl's mother kept her too protected, not allowing her to learn how to carry herself about in the world; this is a dangerous thing. David did not tell his virgin daughter what to do if a man acted in certain ways, so she was very innocent and naive, and was a unsuspecting victim of Jonadab's cunning scheme and Amnon's lust.
And what was the consequences, both for the Jonadab/Amnon/Tamar case and the brother/victim/young female offender? The Bible says that Tamar lived in her brother Amnon's house and was sad and lonely. Absalom was very angry and hated his brother for disgracing his sister. In the end, he also hatched a plot and killed his brother Amnon. (2 Samuel 13: 20 - 28). In the local case, I believe that both the brother and sister will be arrested and sentenced. Depending on the state of the young girl, the relationship between them will need to change. If there was sex in any way, then there may be consequences to both offenders and victim.
Parents, these times are serious. It is not like in my time or your time when we were teens. Those times you could have been a little more lax. But now, the hearts of many have gone cold, not caring about others at all. Let us keep our children safe from all harm. Let us pray for them, let us first be believers in Jesus Christ and have a relationship with Him. Then we can then teach our children the right way, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it.
"Do not be deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that will he also reap/" Galatians 6 verse 7 (KJV)
No comments:
Post a Comment